21 Uncle Moar, tell us a filler OR use a condom at least!
YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE READING that this chapter is about Moar telling his past, so if it seems strange it's because it's a comedy novel and it's the MC that is telling it, that's why
And it's not like the title say, it's actually not a filler, I just found out after writting it that it felt like your typical filler so I nammed it like that...
1 day before I change of world…
-We are Sunday, I'm happily walking in the road to find some inspiration for tomorrow's spot check!
-I sing I sing, so much people on this road!
-Oh, what do I see on my left, isn't it a dark back alley on my left?
-Let's take this dark and lugubrious road even through we're not in a rush!
-Oh, strangely, we are bumping into shady people dressed in black…
-Moar, it doesn't seem very logical!
In the resistance's base…
-I mean why are the people in black the bad guys?
-Well, it's because the blacks are the bad guys, wait… Said like that it seems strange… Ah but it's true you don't have black people!
-What's a black?
-Cough! CoughTrumpCoughCoughMarineCoughLepenCoughCoughSlaveryCoughCoughCoughColonialismCoughCoughWallCoughCoughMexicanCoughCoughMy mind wander… We'll talk about it another time!*
-So, let's get back to our story…
-They seem to be, to my relief, all very occuped, so I decide to pass by ignoring them!
-But this is at that moment that I realize that they are about to **** a poor woman dry!
-How could a pure man such as me let people commit such acts?
-Moar, it doesn't seem like you…
-Why are you saying this ? I'm righteous !
-No, You are self-righteous!**
-Hey! Since when are you judging me?
-Well you still killed us once…
-It wasn't my fault! I slipped!
-Yes yes, I believe you…
-Why don't you seem convinced?
-Yes I said, I believe in you… liar.
-Hey I hear you!
-So, let's get back to our story…
-Indignant about their behavior, I shout at them!
-Hey you, are you serious?
-Wesh y'have problem?
-Yes I have a fucking problem!
-Wesh say that again? Y'have a problem?
-Seriously, you are about to **** a poor woman…
-And so? Y'have a problem with it?
-Fuck guys! At least use a condom! Not dry!
I leave, under their dumbfounded looks, happy to have done a good action.
This was a message from the Ministry of health…
-I knew that was stinking…
-What is stinking?
-Since the start I knew it was impossible for you to do something good!
-No! I'm someone honorable and just! Else why would I be helping you?
-It's because it's advantaging you and for our treasure, no?
-Hum… Hum… Oh! I have a cough attack! CoughCoughYesCoughCoughCough!
-Master Moar ?
It feels like I'm a Jedi master, it just lacks Yoda!
-You can leave the children, the stone is summoning you…
Mmmh… It's a bit strange, I knew it was the supreme stone, that broke through the limit of its condition and all of that… But an intelligent stone… It really doesn't feel good really…
The man of the resistance is guiding me through several dozens of tunnels, before stopping before a door. He ring a bell on the ceiling not far from the entrance, and a indefinable hoarse voice pass through it. It seems at the same time to be the one of a man, a woman and without gender…
-Enter, you can.
Unintentionaly, I expressed my thoughts aloud.
Speak gently, you have to, else lightning underground, I'll make fall.
*For those who don't know what it means when he cough I'll give you the definition of urban dictionary:
Those special times when you can't say something, so you just, ya know, sort of cough...
**This joke was made for English people, in French, it's hardly understandable.