34 My wife is a tabbouleh OR fuck your dead elders!
-Oh, darling! You're here?
Oh fuck Polo the twat!
Oh Polo the twat!
Why did I enter my fucking bedroom!
I already knew twat things in life but nothing like that!
How can she be so psycho?
It's not cool!
She should really do a test "how psycho are you" on internet… We would see the first 420000%!
The test would have been totally broken!
Fortunately, such a test doesn't exist, else I would certainly have been much more panic-stricken!
The panic is something horrible.
But well, after digressing a bit, I finally answer:
I stop myself from saying "tadaima"…
Did I hear that correctly?
She actually has… knowledge in japanese???
-Surprised, darling? I don't know how, but I just learned new words just now!
-Uuhh you weren't supposed to know that…
As I have no idea of how she did that, I think a bit before doing some tests:
-Omae wa mo…
Oh fucking shit!
She knows it, it seems like she's reading in my mind!
What a fucking horror!
-Oh it's beautiful, we are perfectly in sync, so, it means that we're made for each other right?
-I read in a book that some couples are completing each other's sentences, and even some are able to know what the other is thinking!
What a fucking horror!
-Oh, we'll try, hmm… you think that it's… so romantic!
-Hmm, nope, it's not that…
-Ah! Well, we didn't reach that step yet, but I'm sure I can complete all your sentences!
-I'm doubting this, look: Via…
-Well, let's try something harder… Uta…
-Eh… I don't have any idea…
-That's good me too.
So that clearly means she somehow read my intentions…
-Hey! It's not fair!
She pouts in the kawaii way lolis are. At this precise moment, she doesn't seem to be creepy... Even quite not bad. I almost feel like "pat pat" her head.
-Yes! I knew it! You love me too!
-Uuhh, actually, i twas closer from the one between a big brother and a little sister…
-Like in incest novels! So you're my onii-chan ?
I quickly answer:
-It's not right... even if we're really brother and sister you're older than me…
-Oh, yes… But then I'm your onee-chan!
This time, it doesn't have anything to do with my intentions… Does this really mean that she can freely read ALL my thoughts, or that the author had this passing through his mind and so did it?
AAAHHH, what a mess!
The ideas in my head are moving at a really high speed.
Faster than sound.
Faster than light.
It's suprataboulic speed*!
Faster than the tabbouleh, you can do it in 30 seconds in the microwaves!
-Darling, can we spend the night together?
-Fuck your dead elders**!
-Oooh, you're into necrophily? You could have said it to me!
She doesn't really seem to be entirely in tune with me…
*Some kind of trip (didn't find anything closer from what I want to say than that) we had with a friend in physics… I laughed for an hour with the tabbouleh… I even searched and found that tabbouleh had two spelling in French. The more well-known: taboulé, and the other, that I'm actually using, taboulet.
**Well "Nique tes grands morts" litterally fuck your grand deads (like in grandparents, here it's grand deads), translated by me as fuck your dead elders, that's closer from the actual meaning of it.