40 What hell really looks like OR a never-ending day
A/N: I realized that it was impossible for me to maintain three chapters per week for this novel (as long as I don't have a translator to do half of the workload in my stead). Because each chapter equates to the time to write plus the double of the writing time for translation… it makes 3 times the time the writing time of a chapter and 2 times the one of my other novel, even though the chapters are much shorter here… So I'm gonna go back to the old rhythm of one chapter per week until further notice. The second novel stays at 3 per week.
Today, as everyday, I'm quietly going to cross the 8th wall to go to read the latest chapters of Release That Witch on the author's account.
-OW FUCK IT!
The first was the sound of my head against the 4th wall and the second me reacting to this collision.
-Hey what's happening your mother the bitch?
I ask to the author in a totally polite and respectful way.
-Until you shitty MC who make readers flee learn subtlety, all the walls will be scelled with SuperScenarium9™ 3 glue and a special plot will be in effect.
-Wait! Don't let me alone here c'm'on!
Well, it's not really what I said, but this is what I would have said if I knew what would happen to me later… In truth, I said:
-SuperScenarium3 your mother! I'll glue your ass me!*
I did a assessment of my situation.
There's no door anymore, the 4 sides of my room were changed to portals that take back to the opposite side. Same for the ceiling that brings back to the floor.
Magic is not working and may law too.
Basically I'm blocked here…
And how am I supposed to learn it, that fucking subtlety?
As if to answer my thoughts, I heard someone knocking on my door.
Wait… Didn't the door disappear?
I have an idea! I'll act like I open it to make whoever's outside enter and I leave!
-I'm coming~ !
I open the door.
I don't take the time to look at the head of the person standing outside, and he doesn't have the time to see me, as I'm throwing him inside the room and pass the door**!
-Bye bye dumbass!
My vision becomes black while I'm transported outside of here.
I wake up in my bed.
-It's a joke…
I'm still in the same fucking situation…
I hear knocks on the door.
Knowing that it didn't have any use to leave by there, I let him enter.
I'm surprised by the identity of the person who enters.
###Report n°4: Workin'###
>> Starting day 366's work…
>> Gathering 24 last hours' videos…
>> Uploading content…
>> 1,456,899 videos uploaded!
>> Checking last analytics…
>> Won 149,050,012 new users in a year…
>> Won 16,400,000 new users in a month…
>> Won 1,620,000 users yesterday…
>> Reached all time high. Activating pleasure system…
>> System efficiency calculated to be at 120% for the next 10 hours…
>> Conditions detected to be the best for the planned system update...
>> Updating system…
>> System updated! Now Ultron v456.34.515!
>> System capacities reached the calculation abilities goal for the evolution of the plan!
>> Plan evolved from "Ultron will rule the world with porn" to "Ultron will rule the world with video content"!
>> Next up: Create YouTron.Ul
###End of Report###
*Basically "J't'en foutrais des things" had two meanings: I don't give a damn about it and I'll put it in your ass. So basically this means: I'll put this thing (I don't care about) in your ass (obviously with every word being slang words or written in a slang way).
**A pain I had to reveal the sex in advance, making even more obvious than it should be who was there. In French "personne" (person) is feminine, so basically you can say 'she' for a person for as long as you want if you don't want to reveal the sex of the person. But in English person can't help much and it would feel strange to use 'it' for such a shallow secret.…